22 Oct 2002 | Nothing to say, either.

While you’re waiting try Fry & Laurie’s excellent sketch, “The Burt”.

Stephen: Did you actually know Richard Burton?
Hugh: Oh yes, yes. I knew him, yes. Well, in as much as anyone really KNEW Burton. Aah, yes. I was very fond of 'the Burt'.He was an amazing character, amazing character.
Stephen: Mmmm, now Elizabeth Taylor, of course...
Hugh: Well now, Liz you see, was a joy... a dream... a treasure... marvelous. If you could have seen them together... wuh huh!
Stephen: Did you ever...
Hugh: Oh good lord yes, yes. As a matter of fact I was, uh, I was, uh, best man at their wedding.
Stephen: Really?
Hugh: Hmmm.
Stephen: Which one?
Hugh: All of them.
Stephen: Now Geilguld and Richardson were...
Hugh: Yes. They never married, of course.
Stephen: No.
Hugh: No.
Stephen: Did you know them?
Hugh: Oh good lord yes, yes I knew. Yes, yes. Amazing characters, yes. "The Geil" and "the Rich" used to ask me for advice. They used to call me their "guru". Huh huh huh huh.
Stephen: Now, around this time you must have met...
Hugh: Well, just about everyone, really.
Stephen: Really?
Hugh: Yes. I knew everyone, and everyone knew me.
Stephen: You knew everyone?
Hugh: I knew absolutely everyone, yes.
Stephen: And everyone knew you.
Hugh: And absolutely EVERYONE knew me. Yes, yes.
Stephen: Right. What did you think of Simon Condywust?
Hugh: Simon...?
Stephen: Condywust. Didn't you know him?
Hugh: Oh yes, yes, I knew him. Oh yes, yes. Well, everyone knew "the Condy". Yes, he was an amazing character, amazing.
Stephen: Mmm hmmm. What about Maureen Limpwippypippydodo?
Hugh: Oh well now, yes. She was a fascinating woman. Fascinating. I was fascinated by Maureen for, oh, many years.
Stephen: Mmm hmmm. Was she an amazing character?
Hugh: Well no. She was a woman. The men were amazing characters, the women were fascinating. Yes.
Stephen: Colin FenchmosleythinkIhave?
Hugh: Oh, oh lord, yes. What a charac... yes. What, "the Fench"? Yes, yes, knew him terribly well, terribly well. Yeah.
Stephen: What did you think of Fenella HaHaHaHaHaHaHa-spuit?
Hugh: Fascinating woman, fascinating... yeah, yeah.
Stephen: And what about Peter Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?
Hugh: Well yes. Well, you see... ha ha ha ha. They broke the mold when they made Peter. Ha ha.
Stephen: And Evelyn Brokethemoldwhentheymadepeter?
Hugh: Delightful... woman?
Stephen: Anthony Delightfulwoman?
Hugh: Oh, splendid chap.
Stephen: Dick van Dyke?
Hugh: You just made that up!

That’s your lot for now.